He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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