Dude my mom stole all your condoms
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
