why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
