K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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