dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
barbara walters just said penis...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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