I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
