so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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