So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
