I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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