He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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