Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
