It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
