She is in my trunk
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
