strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
