he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
