I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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