My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
