it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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