were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
