Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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