So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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