don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
