my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
