Are we in a gay sports bar?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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