new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
