Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
