my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
