Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
