how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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