Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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