i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
