Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
