So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
