Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
