I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
