Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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