Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
