Me too!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
