is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
