I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
