Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
