Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
