Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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