he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
they need to just BURY HIM!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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