I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
