Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
