I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
