i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
