Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
