Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
